WINDOWS FOOLS

reformat, reinstall
get a Real OS
your registry is corrupt
70,000+ viruses
Clippy
Bob
boot.ini error
driver conflict
stolen interface
improper gamma
crippleware
network-belligerent
what's a network?
LANMAN
out of IRQs
IRQs conflicting
threaten consumers
FUD: Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt
embrace, extend, eliminate
we've had that technology in development for years
software subscriptions
monopoly / convicted monopolists
Explorer holes
proprietary web extensions
proprietary protocols
breaks third-party software
resets home page to msn.com
upgrade problems
Internet exploder
slutco
microslut
microshit
"micro" and "soft" describe Billg
bloated
incompatible
missing DLL
perpetual upgrading
vaporware
threatened to pull Windows off the market
predatory practices
standards mutilation
lack of innovation
"Buy 'em out, boys!"
backdoors
need a sorcerer to help with all the wizards
Java support pulled from XP
XP Home crippled
forces you to register
Passport leaks your personal info
send me an email, get full access to my system
shortcuts lost
winNUKE
reboot, reboot, reboot
can't print
sign consent decree, then violate consent decree
try safe mode
Non-System disk or disk error
Replace and strike any key when ready
Abort, Retry, Fail
Ctrl-Alt-Del
Unable to locate NTLDR
just sucks
Internet exploiter
Internet exterminater
MS Works?
Windows NT, Not there, Neutered technology, No thanks, Neanderthal technology
reverse-switch
inconsistent
ActiveX
Visual Basic
C#
dialog boxes with four rows of tabs
shitty graphics
charge extra for security
BSOD blue screen of death
gestapo comes for a license check
nasty EULAs
your font cache is corrupt
leaves a trail of digital trash
security so bad that you have to worry even if you DON'T run it
sucks so hard, it could pull matter from a black hole
where do you want to go today?
rude
IIS installed, running, and ready to be hacked
upon connecting a default installation of XP to the Net, it can be completely taken over by anyone, remotely
code theft
language theft
even the Windows press hates Windows
fear open source
inelegant
DRM (Digital Restrictions Management) built-in
NGSCB (Next Generation Secure Computing Base) is a firewall to keep you away from your own files


----------------------------
information leaking
hackers sneaking
security fleeting
users bleating
virus spreading
trojan running
worms eating
65,000 bugs
PC thugs
court-order defying
witness stand lying
server crashing
boot-drive trashing
swapfile thrashing
setup daunting
MacOS wanting
capital F Double-Oh L S
FOOLS
(apologies to Ice-T)